Letter to a Gigantic Eyeball

(via yahoo news)

To Gigantic Eyeball (c/o of the ocean)

Dear Gigantic Eyeball,

I read about you on the Yahoo News Feed last week and since then, I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I'm at work and thinking about you. I'm at the movies and thinking about you. There is so much going on in the world-the debates, the election, the Giants: Go Giants!- but all that fills my thoughts is you. So, I had to take this opportunity to write and ask you a few questions. I hope that's alright. I'm a big fan. I guess the most important question is where is the rest of you? I hope that somewhere there is a giant giant swordfish wearing an eyepatch because that would be kind of badass. Also, I don't think there can be anything sadder than a giant dead floating swordfish missing an eye. Wherever the rest of you is, I hope all is well. I'm sure your other eye misses you a lot. You did grow up together after all.

Now, that we've got the big question asked, I'd like to learn more about you. I've compiled a list of questions. Feel free to answer whichever ones you feel like. I'm not picky, just curious.

• How did you get so big?

• Is the swordfish you came from super sized or is it just a normal sized swordfish with big eyes (like the Steve Buscemi of the sea)?

• Are you omniscient? Do you watch me when I sleep? Do you know Santa Clause? If so, please put in a good word.

• How good is your vision? How many fingers am I holding up? Just kidding, but seriously...

• Do super heroes ever visit you and ask for advice?

• Are you from outer space? Cause I kind of think you are...

• Is the Loch Ness monster as stand-offish as she seems?

• What are you going to be for Halloween? I vote sexy grape or magic 8-ball.

• When is the last time you cried?

• What do you eat? I eat a lot of Mexican food, but my eye-size is not as impressive as yours. I am open to tips.

• Have you considered a career in the entertainment industry? I think you'd be great as Dr. T.J. Eckleburg in the new remake of The Great Gatsby or you could be Mike Wazoski's wise old "eye" father in the new Monster's Inc movie. I'm just brain storming.

• Have you ever seen a dinosaur? I'm guessing "yes!"

• What is the best thing about being a giant eyeball? Feel free to elaborate.

• You're on land, what's next? Any fun plans for the weekend?

Again, hope all is well and that you will do with this letter what you will. You truly are an inspiration and your iris color really is lovely (don't know if I mentioned this before :)

Thanks and take care,

Me

P.S. I watched this video the other day and it has put into melody/lyrics how I feel about you...

Smorgasbord Monday

Helloooo & welcome to Smorgasbord Monday. Here are some delightful interweb snippets to help get you through the week and make you say WOW!

First up, an art project inspired by Google Street View called 9 Eyes of Google's Street View. An artist named Jon Rafman has searched through shots which were captured by pole-mounted cameras attached to Google cars. These shots are such a slice of life and will make you realize how much is happening at any moment on this planet (hint: moose races & vans on fire).

Via apartmenttherapy.com

Up next, this guy videotaped his mother sleep walking and then shows her the video, but not before posting it all on youtube first. Apparently, it is very frustrating to open a tomato cage...

Last but not least, you know how I have a thing for barber shop quartets- oh you didn't? Yeah, I'm obsessed with them. It's gotten to the point where I cannot listen to the radio because the barbershop genre is so grossly underrepresented. Here is Vocal Spectrum performing "Go the Distance" from Disney's Hercules. It's unbelievable especially when Tim Waurick holds a note for 30 seconds @ 3 min in...it makes me see rainbows. WOW!

Have a great Monday everyone and if you feel like you need some more Smorgasbord check out these previous posts: 11/21 or 11/14.

The Cookie Workout

I do not drink. I do not do drugs. I do cookies (see previous posts: Why I Should Never Have Free Time, Last Friday Night & Year 29). I'm a big believer in cookies. They are simple, hard working, the everyman of desserts.  You've got your peanut butter, chocolate chip, snickerdoodle...(I could go all Bubba Gump on cookies, but I digress). Yes, cookies are a wonder, but people are always talking smack and saying cookies aren't healthy. LIES. How dare you say that about cookies? Well, here is my "Cookie Workout" (patent pending :) It is fun, easy, and ends with you eating a cookie.

#1 COOKIE WORKOUT RECIPE

Let's start with the cookie recipe and it's a super simple one: pick your favorite. Pick any kind of cookie you like. I've been making a lot of oatmeal chocolate chip lately (super secret recipe from the inside lid of Quaker Oats container). Instead of raisins, I put in chocolate chips...it works for me. I generally make my dough on Sunday. Here's a tip: scoop the dough with an ice cream scoop and place the dough balls on a small tray, then put the tray in the fridge for about 30 minutes. Take out the tray, pull off the dough balls, put them in a zip lock bag, and put them back in the freezer. Now, when friends come over, you can make 1, 2, 3 or a million homemade cookies in the blink of an eye.

#2 PREHEAT/ WARM-UP

Preheat your oven. My oven takes about 10 minutes to preheat, so during this time I do my own warm up. I start with stretches, push ups, and some light aerobics. I listen to music throughout the Cookie Workout. It's a must! My current cookie playlist I entitle "Child of the 80s." First song on the list is "Make it Big" by the Beach Boys which was used in the opening credits for that cinematic gem Troop Beverly Hills, a film about selling cookies. Yes, it all comes back to cookies :)

#3 BAKING/ DANCE PARTY

Put the cookie in the oven. These cookies take about 10-12 minutes to cook (I like my cookies crispy). During this time, I bust a move. You might want to throw in some songs that make you really want to dance, maybe some Hall & Oates to go with your oatmeal cookie? YES!

Don't forget to create a signature move. My go to move is the "Aggressive Charleston." It's just the Charleston, but with serious attitude. (Note: this move works best in a hallway, otherwise you will probably kick a wall).

Remember-if you feel ridiculous, it means the Cookie Workout is working.

#4 COOL DOWN

Once your cookie is done, let it cool down. Trust me. The optimal cookie eating time is 5-15 minutes after the cookie comes out of the oven. Be patient. Take this time to cool down. Be with your thoughts. Believe in the cookie. Plank.

#5 EATING

So, now you've worked out and you know what that means? COOKIE! But, that doesn't mean that we don't make room for health. I give you the VITAMIN COOKIE (recipe: take a cookie and take a vitamin pill). Mine is a multivitamin with D and magnesium, but make sure and check in with your physician on what type of pill you should take. I eat my cookie with a big glass of water. Trust me, it's important.

That's it the Cookie Workout (2 min of stretching + 18 min cardio + meditation + vitamin pill + hydration). Yay, COOKIES! The next time somebody talks cookie smack, just make this face.

***Note: The author of this blog is in no way a fitness experiment (just ask her high school P.E. teacher) or a nutritionist (just ask the kind people at Jack n' the Box). She just really likes cookies.

Year 29: Trip to the Antiques Faire (Irony Intended)

I can clearly remember turning 11 and thinking, "Holy crud balls, I'm old." I haven't really liked my birthday ever since. But, this year, something happened. I decided to celebrate, really celebrate, getting older (29, boo-yah!) After all, what's the POINT (you'll see the pun in a minute) of getting older if you're not going to offer up a high-five to being alive? Plus, the Alameda POINT Antiques Faire fatefully happened to coincide with my birthday this year. So, two car loads of amazing ladies made a 6 am wake up call (that's 6 am in the morning) and journeyed all the way up to Alameda for some shopping, eating, and treasure finding. Look at these awesome early risers!

 The fair is exclusively for things over twenty years old...but they still let Lo in :)

 I was so excited to get to spend the day with KD (a bestie since college days)!

I couldn't stop taking pictures of all these amazing finds...

 

 I'm still kicking myself for not buying this button

 Look what KD bought.

 This could be a piece of modern poetry:

 I was posing with this and feeling like a total dork, when a guy shouted, "You look like her!"

 And I was like, "Happy Birthday to me!"

Sponges & Silver

 Look what JKL spotted...

Confession: I have never met a hat that I didn't want on my head

I don't even know what these are, but I WANT them

 Lo and behold, Lo bought a ring!

 

 When I have a huge loft (or am living under a bridge), I am buying this Hollywood Video sign and putting it on one big white wall...

 Lunch break, where in we eat EVERYTHING! Roberta (on the right) was such a doll! Not only was she our antique show guide & driver, she also told me, "You are going to have an incredible year. 29 is the best." LOVE HER.

 Post lunch pow-wow to decide where to go next

I bought myself a necklace as a present. I lurve it.

 We'd been eying these popsicles all day. JKL treated me to a sea salted dark chocolate from Pop Nation...it was like the Audrey Hepburn of fudgsicles and I mean that in a good way!

My incredible Auntie Anne got me the best present ever...this cookie from Feel Good Bakery which was insane and wall to wall with walnuts :)

 Still, can't believe I'm 29. I'm practically an antique, but I've always liked antiques. So here's to 29, something I can definitely celebrate.