Spring Done Sprung

This might be my favorite time of the year, but it is also making me physically ill. I've basically been either working or housebound for the last couple of weeks. But whenever I get the chance, I try to take a quick walk around my block and guess what I just found?

What is a healthy number of "blossom" shots to have on your phone? Because I've got 31. I cannot stay away from the blossoms. They are like beautiful poison pollen pellets and I just want to go up to every one of them, and say, "Why hello, ambassadors of spring!" and then stick them up my nose.

Bye Bye, Blackbirds

Today I freaked out in the parking lot of my local Jack N' the Box- not the first time this has happened- but, this time it was because 2 of the biggest frickin' crows I have ever seen were waiting for me when I exited the building. I almost threw my icy fountain beverage (diet coke with a splash of root beer aka "The Librarian's Bender") into my own face because these devil birds scared me so badly. They were like feathery toddler-velicoraptors and they kept turning their heads and looking into my soul and I walked really slowly to my car while trying to communicate telepathically: Gynormous crows, please do not claw out my eyes- someday I would like to see the Grand Canyon. I carefully opened my door and got in and then I swear one of them flew right at my window. OK, maybe I have been reading too much Game of Thrones and I did rewatch The Birds last week, but I know what I saw and what I saw was evil.

This photo was taken from a strange angle because I was in a crouched fetal position at the time. Please notice how the bird is practically the size of a compact car. NEVER MORE!

I need a gyro!

I think I speak on behalf of single ladies everywhere when I say...