Today I freaked out in the parking lot of my local Jack N' the Box- not the first time this has happened- but, this time it was because 2 of the biggest frickin' crows I have ever seen were waiting for me when I exited the building. I almost threw my icy fountain beverage (diet coke with a splash of root beer aka "The Librarian's Bender") into my own face because these devil birds scared me so badly. They were like feathery toddler-velicoraptors and they kept turning their heads and looking into my soul and I walked really slowly to my car while trying to communicate telepathically: Gynormous crows, please do not claw out my eyes- someday I would like to see the Grand Canyon. I carefully opened my door and got in and then I swear one of them flew right at my window. OK, maybe I have been reading too much Game of Thrones and I did rewatch The Birds last week, but I know what I saw and what I saw was evil.
This photo was taken from a strange angle because I was in a crouched fetal position at the time. Please notice how the bird is practically the size of a compact car. NEVER MORE!