Lean into Art

I frequently museum. I museum most frequently. I have been to the Children in War exhibit in London, the Italian Torture Museum, and even the Louvre (best 15 minutes of my life). Often, my friends ask me, “How do you do it? How do you museum with so much class and efficiency?” To museum successfully is quite simple. Just follow these suggested guidelines.

1. Walk casually through the space allowing the art to speak to you or even hit on you (those saucy Reubens). For example: this Goelet Schooner Prize designed by Tiffany & Co. (1884) screams tartar sauce and traumatized fish sticks. You can practically smell the terror.

These bottles look like hot air balloons and they evoke a hydrogen sunrise.

March to your own drummer, ballerina.

2. Dress like a museum guard or like a person who likes museums (taupe and pearls). Blend.

 3. Get background info by frequently asking museum workers questions like..."If I licked this painting what would you do?” “What would it taste like?” or “What color is this wall?” “Do you have any paint swatches?” ...Benjamin Moore Ecru is very popular.

4. Never be afraid to express how the art has moved you: with words, with gestures, with unfortunate songs you wrote about your breasts ("My Busby Berkeleys are Timeless") but shouldn't have sung in public because there was a tour group right behind you...Never be afraid to be expressive. 

5. Finally, always remember to lean into art, physically, lean into culture.