How to Pick Restaurants and Influence People

Boston has kidnapped my sister. 

Let's take a step back. When I was 9 and my sister was 7, my mother decided that we should both learn how to play the piano, but I didn't want to learn how to play the piano. So, for Christmas my sister got a piano and I asked for a gameboy and I got a gameboy. My sister is now attending the Boston Conservatory of Music where she is receiving a Masters in Music. Where am I? I am  here: living with my parents, ill-tempered, and non-musical. Yes. I took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference. So, this summer I followed Hayley's path which is full of music notes and New England, but in my opinion doesn't have nearly enough gameboys.


Boston is a grand old town-easy to navigate and filled with clam chowder. When you visit Boston you must (absolutely must) visit the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. Located near the Fenway, this stunning jewel box of a museum sits on the park and watches the world go by. You might never know from the its exterior that within this simple brownish-gray building is an Italian villa complete with hydrangeas, Boticellis, and tapestry upon tapestry. It's a dignified riot and who doesn't like one of those?

Basically, Isabella Stewart Gardner was a grand dame of Boston society during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. She collected art, but only art that she liked. Isabella liked art. She was a Red Sox fan. She loved to travel (on her desk, to this day, remains a jar of sand collected in Egypt). She was besties with John Singer Singer Sargent. Basically, anyone who was anyone who visited Boston was going to end up at Gardner's Backbay home/villa/Renaissance Palace. When she died, she willed her home as a museum with a big endowment, but the endowment will be withdrawn if anything in the collection is ever moved or changed. Yep, she was a bad-ass.


In fact, I will make this analogy:

Isabella Stewart Gardner is to Art as Chuck Norris is to Life 

hanging out with the stone lion museum guard

In 1990, the museum became even more well-known as the site of the largest unsolved art heist in U.S. history. You can read more about that debacle here.


Where was I? Food. Another wonderful thing about Boston is the food. Boston has great grub. The culinary highlight of the trip for me was definitely The Daily Catch in the North End. It's so tiny that it is more of "pin" hole in the wall. I had this killer fettucine alfredo with squid ink pasta. We also had the squid ink pasta with oil and chopped up calamari and heavenly butter. I died and went to heaven, but had to fly back down to tell you about this meal. 

going, going, gone

I have a very particular method for choosing restaurants when I travel. It might sound crazy, but food is a major part of the trip for me. Been on any main street in any major city lately? Notice how all the stores are the same (the Gap, the Gap, the Gap...baby Gap). Yes, there are lots of chain restaurants, but there will always been those one-of-a-kind-back-alley-paper-placemat-mom-and-pop-local-homegrown restaurants in any city you visit and they're where you eat your memories. 


Here is how I cross-reference and organize my food hunts:


1. Chowhound: This is a site for foodies, so it can be a little elitist. Perfect for finding hidden spots and "best of" lists.


2. TripAdvisor: Targeted towards tourists, but sometimes you just want to be a tourist. This site ranks restaurants based on popularity and classifies them according to "type" of diner.


3. Yelp: Everyone uses yelp. Everyone. But, that gives it a home court advantage. Locals write about their favorite haunts, but beware the overly used 3 star rating. This site also offers great help with hours, location and menus.


4. Individual restaurant sites: ALWAYS check out the menu. I repeat-ALWAYS check out the menu. Nothing is worse than finding out that a place is way out of your price range or worse still...is vegan (I kid, but only slightly).


5. Word of Mouth: Friends and families are great resources, but find your food "twins." These are people who like food that you like.


6. Follow your nose, follow the line: I was once on the tube in London and got off 5 stops early because I smelled something delicious wafting down the stairs. I discovered the world's best orange and chocolate cookie. The nose wins. Likewise, be an individualist, but when it comes to restaurants, follow the crowd (especially when it comes to street vendors).


Again, this method is not for everyone. It's time intensive and a little crazy, but also a little fun. Check one site, check two, ask friends, sniff frequently. Here are some of my favorite finds from my Boston eating-extravaganza.

Tasty Burger near the Fenway. Juicy burgers and neat atmosphere. 

Oatmeal "Hard" Yogurt from J.P. Licks. The best yogurt that I have ever had. It tastes just like a scoop of oatmeal cookie dough!

Clam chowder from Atlantic Fish Company on Boylston. It has the best bread. Fluffy. Gooey. Warm. Also, it just feels like Boston. The whole place is filled with dark wood and shiny surfaces, but it also won't break the bank (especially if you stick with the bread bowl).

I'm smiling because I am wearing my new blue dress I bought for the trip. This was also my last piece of clothing in my overpacked suitcase. Yep, I wore everything I brought...a first! Also, I'm smiling because I'm about to go to Legal Seafood. Legal is a chain, but it has award-winning chowder. Scrumptious!

We went to the Summer Shack (my best friend KD's suggestion) for the best crab cakes of my life!

What better way to close out our East Coast party than a trip to the grocery store for some midnight Boston Cream Pie and tabloid reading. Thank you Boston! Thank you KGB, Lo, Hayley, mom, and Susie. You were the best travel companions that a girl could ask for! 

Lean into Art

I frequently museum. I museum most frequently. I have been to the Children in War exhibit in London, the Italian Torture Museum, and even the Louvre (best 15 minutes of my life). Often, my friends ask me, “How do you do it? How do you museum with so much class and efficiency?” To museum successfully is quite simple. Just follow these suggested guidelines.

1. Walk casually through the space allowing the art to speak to you or even hit on you (those saucy Reubens). For example: this Goelet Schooner Prize designed by Tiffany & Co. (1884) screams tartar sauce and traumatized fish sticks. You can practically smell the terror.

These bottles look like hot air balloons and they evoke a hydrogen sunrise.

March to your own drummer, ballerina.

2. Dress like a museum guard or like a person who likes museums (taupe and pearls). Blend.

 3. Get background info by frequently asking museum workers questions like..."If I licked this painting what would you do?” “What would it taste like?” or “What color is this wall?” “Do you have any paint swatches?” ...Benjamin Moore Ecru is very popular.

4. Never be afraid to express how the art has moved you: with words, with gestures, with unfortunate songs you wrote about your breasts ("My Busby Berkeleys are Timeless") but shouldn't have sung in public because there was a tour group right behind you...Never be afraid to be expressive. 

5. Finally, always remember to lean into art, physically, lean into culture.

The Great Steppenwolf Cheese Massacre

On our second day of Chicago-ness, Hayley and I opted for some fried chicken, skyscrapers, cheese, and a wee bit of theatre (spelled with a -re). I was staying in the Lakeview District of Chicago, which is pretty goshdarn adorable and even has its own mosaic tile welcome wall-mat. So lets start here.

Time to suit up.

Hayley's look = Steel-Eyed Ballerina

My look = Hardworking 1st Baseman

We journeyed to a restaurant called Crisp which I had discovered the week before by following nice smells in the area. Our meal was the culinary highlight of our trip. Take the best chicken strips you've ever had, then cover them with the most delicious soy sauce concoction you could ever imagine. Of course, we also had to get in on some rice and veggie action. We paired our entree with diet A&Ws. The flavors melded very well. Seriously, if you are ever in the Lakeview area, GO to Crisp. 

 So happy!

So full!

In the afternoon, we signed up for an Architectural Boat Tour. It was the best 2 hour nap ever. Just kidding. I don't know what it is about boats, but they make me feel like a sleepy baby in a hammock. I should mention that by this point I had been in Chicago for a week, but had yet to go into the downtown area. Did you know they have skyscrapers there? In fact, Chicago is the birthplace of the skyscraper. Wow. Those suckers are tall. 

The skyscrapers actually made me feel very small and insignificant and structurally unsound. Skycrapers: the supermodels of architecture. Speaking of large buildings, deep-dish pizza. We took a walk down Michigan Ave and found ourselves at Giardano's world famous pizza. 

Oh, sweet slice of pizza

scene of the crime

We then high-tailed it to Steppenwolf Theatre where we saw the quietly gorgeous Middletown by Will Eno. The play takes place in a small-town where a new comer Mary forms a friendship with a handyman named John. It talks about connection, loneliness, and our inability to see how breathtaking life really is. I would call it "Our Town" for an isolated generation and a damn fine piece of theatre. To quote the play, "Some of the dust on my shoes is from outer space. Most of the rest is dead human skin. Infinity, asteroids, and your great-great grandmother. All that struggle and science and stale candy in every little speck. You look at it and you think dirt. That's not even half the story."

All told, a simply loverly way to spend a day in Chicago.

I pretend to be a stepping wolf.

Hot Dogs and Culture

My beloved sister Hayley came to keep me company on the 4th of July weekend in Chicago. We saw the sights, ate really great food, and survived the humidity (which is pretty hard for 2 California gals).

Hayley wore a look that I will call, "What you lookin' at Aztec?"

Let's take it to the streets. Yes, that drunk man in the background and I are wearing coordinating colors. Yes, we planned it that way.

Yes, there is a grease spot on my face because I ate butter and then touched the lens of my camera. It's called the "butter filter" and it's very becoming. Take that hipsta-matic.

First off, a quick jaunt to the Art Institute of Chicago to see "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte" by Georges-Pierre Seurat, or as Hayley and I call it "The Rockin Dot Painting." Color and light <insert music by Stephen Sondheim>

Hayley is art

Chicago is art.

Candy is art.

Men who sneak into the backgrounds of your photos are art.

Everything is art.

Hot dogs from Portillo's are seriously art.