Letter to a Gigantic Eyeball

(via yahoo news)

To Gigantic Eyeball (c/o of the ocean)

Dear Gigantic Eyeball,

I read about you on the Yahoo News Feed last week and since then, I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I'm at work and thinking about you. I'm at the movies and thinking about you. There is so much going on in the world-the debates, the election, the Giants: Go Giants!- but all that fills my thoughts is you. So, I had to take this opportunity to write and ask you a few questions. I hope that's alright. I'm a big fan. I guess the most important question is where is the rest of you? I hope that somewhere there is a giant giant swordfish wearing an eyepatch because that would be kind of badass. Also, I don't think there can be anything sadder than a giant dead floating swordfish missing an eye. Wherever the rest of you is, I hope all is well. I'm sure your other eye misses you a lot. You did grow up together after all.

Now, that we've got the big question asked, I'd like to learn more about you. I've compiled a list of questions. Feel free to answer whichever ones you feel like. I'm not picky, just curious.

• How did you get so big?

• Is the swordfish you came from super sized or is it just a normal sized swordfish with big eyes (like the Steve Buscemi of the sea)?

• Are you omniscient? Do you watch me when I sleep? Do you know Santa Clause? If so, please put in a good word.

• How good is your vision? How many fingers am I holding up? Just kidding, but seriously...

• Do super heroes ever visit you and ask for advice?

• Are you from outer space? Cause I kind of think you are...

• Is the Loch Ness monster as stand-offish as she seems?

• What are you going to be for Halloween? I vote sexy grape or magic 8-ball.

• When is the last time you cried?

• What do you eat? I eat a lot of Mexican food, but my eye-size is not as impressive as yours. I am open to tips.

• Have you considered a career in the entertainment industry? I think you'd be great as Dr. T.J. Eckleburg in the new remake of The Great Gatsby or you could be Mike Wazoski's wise old "eye" father in the new Monster's Inc movie. I'm just brain storming.

• Have you ever seen a dinosaur? I'm guessing "yes!"

• What is the best thing about being a giant eyeball? Feel free to elaborate.

• You're on land, what's next? Any fun plans for the weekend?

Again, hope all is well and that you will do with this letter what you will. You truly are an inspiration and your iris color really is lovely (don't know if I mentioned this before :)

Thanks and take care,

Me

P.S. I watched this video the other day and it has put into melody/lyrics how I feel about you...