Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Cookie Workout

I do not drink. I do not do drugs. I do cookies (see previous posts: Why I Should Never Have Free Time, Last Friday Night & Year 29). I'm a big believer in cookies. They are simple, hard working, the everyman of desserts.  You've got your peanut butter, chocolate chip, snickerdoodle...(I could go all Bubba Gump on cookies, but I digress). Yes, cookies are a wonder, but people are always talking smack and saying cookies aren't healthy. LIES. How dare you say that about cookies? Well, here is my "Cookie Workout" (patent pending :) It is fun, easy, and ends with you eating a cookie.

#1 COOKIE WORKOUT RECIPE
Let's start with the cookie recipe and it's a super simple one: pick your favorite. Pick any kind of cookie you like. I've been making a lot of oatmeal chocolate chip lately (super secret recipe from the inside lid of Quaker Oats container). Instead of raisins, I put in chocolate chips...it works for me. I generally make my dough on Sunday. Here's a tip: scoop the dough with an ice cream scoop and place the dough balls on a small tray, then put the tray in the fridge for about 30 minutes. Take out the tray, pull off the dough balls, put them in a zip lock bag, and put them back in the freezer. Now, when friends come over, you can make 1, 2, 3 or a million homemade cookies in the blink of an eye.

#2 PREHEAT/ WARM-UP
Preheat your oven. My oven takes about 10 minutes to preheat, so during this time I do my own warm up. I start with stretches, push ups, and some light aerobics. I listen to music throughout the Cookie Workout. It's a must! My current cookie playlist I entitle "Child of the 80s." First song on the list is "Make it Big" by the Beach Boys which was used in the opening credits for that cinematic gem Troop Beverly Hills, a film about selling cookies. Yes, it all comes back to cookies :)


#3 BAKING/ DANCE PARTY
Put the cookie in the oven. These cookies take about 10-12 minutes to cook (I like my cookies crispy). During this time, I bust a move. You might want to throw in some songs that make you really want to dance, maybe some Hall & Oates to go with your oatmeal cookie? YES!

Don't forget to create a signature move. My go to move is the "Aggressive Charleston." It's just the Charleston, but with serious attitude. (Note: this move works best in a hallway, otherwise you will probably kick a wall).
Remember-if you feel ridiculous, it means the Cookie Workout is working.
#4 COOL DOWN
Once your cookie is done, let it cool down. Trust me. The optimal cookie eating time is 5-15 minutes after the cookie comes out of the oven. Be patient. Take this time to cool down. Be with your thoughts. Believe in the cookie. Plank.

#5 EATING
So, now you've worked out and you know what that means? COOKIE! But, that doesn't mean that we don't make room for health. I give you the VITAMIN COOKIE (recipe: take a cookie and take a vitamin pill). Mine is a multivitamin with D and magnesium, but make sure and check in with your physician on what type of pill you should take. I eat my cookie with a big glass of water. Trust me, it's important.
That's it the Cookie Workout (2 min of stretching + 18 min cardio + meditation + vitamin pill + hydration). Yay, COOKIES! The next time somebody talks cookie smack, just make this face.

***Note: The author of this blog is in no way a fitness experiment (just ask her high school P.E. teacher) or a nutritionist (just ask the kind people at Jack n' the Box). She just really likes cookies.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Year 29: Trip to the Antiques Faire (Irony Intended)

I can clearly remember turning 11 and thinking, "Holy crud balls, I'm old." I haven't really liked my birthday ever since. But, this year, something happened. I decided to celebrate, really celebrate, getting older (29, boo-yah!) After all, what's the POINT (you'll see the pun in a minute) of getting older if you're not going to offer up a high-five to being alive? Plus, the Alameda POINT Antiques Faire fatefully happened to coincide with my birthday this year. So, two car loads of amazing ladies made a 6 am wake up call (that's 6 am in the morning) and journeyed all the way up to Alameda for some shopping, eating, and treasure finding. Look at these awesome early risers!
 The fair is exclusively for things over twenty years old...but they still let Lo in :)
 I was so excited to get to spend the day with KD (a bestie since college days)!
I couldn't stop taking pictures of all these amazing finds...
 
 I'm still kicking myself for not buying this button
 Look what KD bought.
 This could be a piece of modern poetry:
 I was posing with this and feeling like a total dork, when a guy shouted, "You look like her!"
 And I was like, "Happy Birthday to me!"
Sponges & Silver
 Look what JKL spotted...
Confession: I have never met a hat that I didn't want on my head
I don't even know what these are, but I WANT them
 Lo and behold, Lo bought a ring!
 
 When I have a huge loft (or am living under a bridge), I am buying this Hollywood Video sign and putting it on one big white wall...
 Lunch break, where in we eat EVERYTHING! Roberta (on the right) was such a doll! Not only was she our antique show guide & driver, she also told me, "You are going to have an incredible year. 29 is the best." LOVE HER.
 Post lunch pow-wow to decide where to go next
I bought myself a necklace as a present. I lurve it.
 We'd been eying these popsicles all day. JKL treated me to a sea salted dark chocolate from Pop Nation...it was like the Audrey Hepburn of fudgsicles and I mean that in a good way!

My incredible Auntie Anne got me the best present ever...this cookie from Feel Good Bakery which was insane and wall to wall with walnuts :)

 Still, can't believe I'm 29. I'm practically an antique, but I've always liked antiques. So here's to 29, something I can definitely celebrate.